Introduce that alone time more
There is nothing more freeing than time by yourself
Every time I stay in a hotel by myself, I think of that one episode of Miranda, where she tells everyone she is going on holiday to Thailand but has actually just booked an overnight stay at a hotel down the road from her.
I love a hotel room!
There is nothing more freeing than time by yourself, and I think a hotel is the perfect place to do that. There are no obligations, no rules, no bedtimes. Just you, a big bed, and room service if you are lucky.
I went on my first solo holiday in May 2024, and I call them holidays - I have never stayed longer than one night. I was going to Manchester to see one of my favourite comedians, Ed Gamble, and my friend told me she could not come the week before; feeling brave, I decided I would go alone.
I had only ever been away from home by myself for the day, or for a few hours. In fact, the 3 months at university I spent was probably the longest I had ever been away from home. In the big city all alone, I felt nervous to conquer such a milestone - as I stepped off the train, I felt proud of how far I had come.
I am naturally a very nervous person, and always imagine the worst thing possible is going to happen (glass half full attitude, clearly.) The trepidation I felt checking into a hotel as just one guest for one night, walking to the theatre alone, even just occupying one seat in the venue - I was terrified.
But, I came home the next day and realised just how much fun that was.
To not have anyone telling me we had to be at a certain place by a certain time, wait my turn for the bathroom, or turn the lights off at a certain moment; being in a hotel room by yourself is an unmatched experience.
As I reflected on that time I had spent by myself, I realised I wanted to do it again.
So I did.
I spent the weekend before Christmas 2024 completely alone, and it was so freeing. I took myself to Liverpool, checked into my hotel and waltzed into the town centre at my own pace. I grabbed some food from my favourite place, and journeyed to the cinema to catch a screening of Sonic the Hedgehog 3 (definitely not just because it starred Jorma Taccone.) I then came back to the hotel and spent the evening watching whatever was on the television at that time, and went to bed around 10pm. I woke up the next morning feeling so refreshed.
Despite having spent the weekend alone, and only returning to my family later on Sunday afternoon, I could not have imagined a better use of my time. It allowed me to completely restore my energy and find my inner peace.
When you work full-time, it can be difficult to find time for things you enjoy, extra-curriculars or even just switch-off activities like cinema trips or city breaks.
Being autistic, naturally introverted, and a chronically fatigued young woman, I find it hard to spend too much time around people. Booking even just one night away from it all can really help me to switch off, recharge my batteries, and spend time doing what I enjoy. I make time for these solo adventures now, and I do not put them off like I would have done in previous years; instead, I welcome them.
I have been investing time and money in my solo trips for nearly 2 years now, and I have no regrets. Sure, there are moments of loneliness and the thought of falling asleep in a city you do not call home by yourself can be daunting, but it is also freeing. It teaches you to enjoy your own company, and lets you embrace moments spent completely in solitary.
After all, having no bedtime is exciting, no matter your age.
This is your homework, from wherever in the world this finds you, at whatever point in your life - book a solo trip.
Whether it just be a night away from home in a familiar city, or a week away to a foreign land (I have not been this brave yet!), take that step and welcome your own company. You never know, you might just end up preferring it.
Get in that train, or bus, or car, and travel to the destination of your choice knowing you are about to enjoy yourself, and just yourself. There are no pressures to stick to an itinerary designed by somebody who did not have your best interests at heart, there is no awkward waiting around to use the bathroom, and there is no argument about when is an okay time to turn off the big light.
It is just you, and you are going to love it.
In my most recent solo trips, I have had a purpose for going away - mainly comedy gigs and live shows. But, when I took that aforementioned trip to Liverpool, I had no real purpose for going - and that made it all the more exciting. It was my mind’s chance to go wild, to leave the decisions up to me and there was no pressure to abide to anyone else’s schedule.
I will have to do it again sometime.
My favourite solo trips have included;
Even though the musical I went to see, Dear Evan Hanson, was not my favourite, I still had an enjoyable time staying overnight and having such a big bed to myself. After all, there is nothing more comfortable than a hotel bed.
Chris Ramsey being one of my favourite comedians of all time probably helped to make this trip so much fun. Genuinely, even though the weather was poor and I was going through a period of burnout at the time, I loved this weekend.
Yeah, maybe I should visit a different city. Seeing one of my favourite podcasts live after listening for nearly 4 years was a crazy time, and I loved every minute of it.
What a night this was. Staying in possibly my favourite city after my initial solo trip there felt amazing to return after all that time, and this was my first time seeing an improv show - I loved it! Would highly recommend catching Kiell Smith Bynoe’s Kool Story Bro show if you can.
I hope if you can take anything from this post, it is that going out into the world by yourself is not as scary as it may seem. Book that trip, take that train, make that memory. You are your best company!
Dear Aine,
Greetings.
Read one of your essays for the first time.
And I like the nice chatty way you have penned it.
This opening line is especially lovely:
"There is nothing more freeing than time by yourself"
Yes, 100% right.
God bless you,
Roy
I’ve always loved my time on my own, looking at my most recent little trips I feel like I’ve found an entirely new side of myself. The purpose is to simply be. And I love it.